Do You Feel Like a Successful Poet? 7 Ways to Cope in the Meantime

When I first got serious about writing poetry (2003-ish), the measures of success seemed relatively simple: delight in the writing process, publish poems in journals, win a book contest and find a poetry community. While all have been elusive at various times and in varying degrees, the only one that’s entirely evaded me (to date) is “win a book contest.” And since the current manuscript was a semi-finalist/finalist in five really great contests this year, I hope even “win a book contest” isn’t too far fetched. (And please, let it be not too far off. LOL)

So why is it so easy to feel like a failure?

Part of it, admittedly, is personality. Patience is not my strong suit, I’m my worst critic, etc., etc. But part of it is also that the traditional measures of success — fame, fortune — aren’t at play in poetry. Even the measures other kinds of writers use aren’t entirely relevant to poets, as detailed in a 2013 piece by poet (and Writer’s Digest Senior Content Editor) Robert Lee Brewer. In it, he questions the real value of publication credits, money, fame, artistic achievement and immortality. When poet Kelli Russell Agodon wrote about measuring success as a writer in 2015, she also warned poets against using bank accounts and publication credits as guideposts.

The age of social media teases another measure of success: virality. Typically, that measure doesn’t apply to poetry, either. Except when it does. Maggie Smith’s “Good Bones,” for example, shattered the sound barrier in 2016 and made its way to primetime television in 2017. Social media has made us crave other kinds of attention online, too. Currently on Twitter, for example, catching the eye of Kaveh Akbar can help a poem make the rounds, as with this beautiful poem by J. Jennifer Espinoza, which has hundreds of likes and retweets.

Neither kind of viral attention is pursuable, of course. They occur on their own and for reasons outside anyone’s control. (And sometimes, as noted in a blog post by Sandra Beasley, it can be “bittersweet.” When a poem — like “Good Bones” — about coping with atrocity is popular, it means we’re coping with atrocity.)

So with the impracticality of traditional measures and the happenstance of social media measures, it’s no wonder it’s difficult to feel successful or identify the outcomes that define a poet’s success. A pessimist/realist may adopt a version of the X-files creed — Trust no one — and say, Count on nothing. Still others would insist, Just stop worrying about success. There’s wisdom in both of those approaches.

However, it would be disingenuous to say none of it matters to me. It does. It matters deeply. I want to be a “successful poet.” And perhaps I should be embarrassed to be so earnest. But I’m not. And so I return to those success markers I recognized back in 2003: I want my poems to find readers, and I want my book to find a publisher. The unabashedly earnest poet says, Those accomplishments will help me feel like a successful poet.

Regardless of the kind of work any poet puts in or how shamelessly she does it, there’s no guaranteed way to resonate with readers and magazines/presses. And anyway, neither will happen every day. Name a poet you deem “successful.” I’m willing to bet that poet doesn’t *feel* successful all the time. And so, poet friends, it’s a good thing we also value other aspects of the writing life.

Via trial and error — and often through the great example of the poets and friends around me — I’ve found happiness and satisfaction in poetry activities that do not revolve around notices of acceptance. Here are some of them: 7 ways to cope (thrive, even!) when you get stuck thinking in terms of success and failure. As a bonus, they make you both a better poet and a better literary citizen.

1. Make and keep commitments to yourself.
I’m a big proponent of setting writing goals, things like “draft a new poem every week” or “set aside ‘office hours’ on weekends to tackle submissions.” These are tasks you can complete on your own without any outside endorsements or approvals. One of my most instructive models is the Poetry Action Plan from January O’Neil (Poet Mom). Here’s her latest. It always feels good to accomplish something you set out to do.

2. Live your own best poet life. 
Avoid comparing yourself to other poets. This is a hard one for me, but comparison never inspires me and it never makes me try harder. Falling short makes me ask, “Why bother?” I am more likely in that moment to host a pity party for myself than to write a poem. There are plenty of people who question the value of creative pursuits in this world: don’t be one of them. Instead, focus on the work. My friend Sarah Freligh reminds herself (and me) of this “on the regular,” as the kids say. Drop down into the writing. Honor your muse. Practice your craft. As Kelli says in her post on success, “Creating art is a hopeful, optimistic act.” That’s the way forward. That’s the juice.

3. Challenge your limits; push your boundaries. 
Take on a creative challenge: poem-a-day for 30 days, share black and white photos for 7 days, complete a multi-day streak of daily free writes, write 1000 words about a topic that scares you. The details don’t matter. Entering new territory isn’t just invigorating: it also builds confidence.

4. Celebrate the little things.
Don’t wait for the green light from an editor before you celebrate your work. Celebrate attempting a sestina, finding the right metaphor, jotting down an opening line, getting up to read at an open mic. Recognize the moments when you show up to be a poet.

5. Cheer on other poets.
What makes Kaveh’s Twitter feed so appealing isn’t just that he’s sharing terrific poems. It’s that he’s sharing poems by other people. He admires the work of his contemporaries, and he’s letting everyone know. The generosity is a clear antidote to the political sniping that often happens on the platform, and people are gravitating to it. His network/platform is growing as a result.

Over at the Tupelo Press 30/30 project’s Twitter feed, we’re celebrating poets’ work in a different way, as are many journals and presses, by recognizing the publishing successes of the project’s alums. As the manager/author of that account, I can say it’s changed how I see the poetic landscape. I learn about new journals and presses all the time. There are good homes for our poems. Publishers are busting their asses, and fellow poets point the way to those outlets.

When we boost signals for poets and magazines, we’re lighting the path so it’s easier to follow not only for interested readers but also for ourselves. We’re gaining momentum, aren’t we?

6. Learn some stuff.
DIY a writing curriculum for yourself. In addition to reading as many poems as you can, talk to other poets about poetry and listen in on others as they have that conversation. Read interviews. Listen to podcasts.

One of my favorites is Rachel Zucker’s Commonplace podcast. Rachel’s conversations with poets sink down into craft and into poets’ relationships to craft. Discussions are deeply personal, and at the same time, they cultivate awareness of the responsibility each of us has to art, to community and to resistance. With this in my ear (instead of the 24-hour news cycle, instead of negative self-talk), I’m being exposed to new ideas and approaches. I’m learning how others get it done. I’m receiving gifts that inspire and motivate.

7. Be grateful for every reader. 
When someone tells you they enjoy your work, take it in.  Let yourself really feel it. In writing about viral poetry for Ploughshares, Dean Rader says, “Poetry makes everything less common, more reverent. And in times of the world’s night, we need—even just a little—the holy.” When we think about success, so often it’s tied to numbers and scale. We want many readers. We want to have a large impact. But when we count each reading of a poem as a sacred moment between a single poet and a single reader, we light little fires everywhere. Believe the reader who tells you your poem touched them. The first draft may be for yourself, but upon revision you’re trying to craft something that has value beyond the initial impulse. Knowing what it feels like when it works will give you energy to keep at it.

So those are some of my little tricks. What makes you feel like a successful poet? What’s your measure?

12 responses to “Do You Feel Like a Successful Poet? 7 Ways to Cope in the Meantime”

  1. These are some really good tips. I’m not sure I have anything to add, really. It’s been fun watching you and some of my other old pals from the heyday of poetry blogging ten years ago continue to grow and deepen. I think I might be a better poet if I challenged myself more; for too long I’ve been too easily satisfied. Now I’m rediscovering the joy of re-writing. As a “dark green” environmentalist I’m fairly convinced that our civilization won’t survive the century, so I don’t feel that literary immortality even makes sense as a goal. But writing the kind of poetry I like to read, and reaching the occasional reader: that’s enough of a reward for me.

    1. it has been fun watching the old pals & that’s part of where i suffer from the temptation of comparison: so many not only have one book but several. my timeline is different for lots of reasons & i am much better off when i do the work of poet & literary citizen than when i count it as a failure because i’m not ‘there’ yet… wherever ‘there’ is. & i am with you: writing a poem that satisfies the itch is its own reward! i seek that feeling over & over!

  2. Reblogged this on Maya's and Sam's Dad and commented:
    This is a good bit of advice.

    1. thank you so much for sharing it!

  3. I like these tips too. For me, it’s keeping those writing goals/commitments to myself and remembering that we’re all on our own paths here. I think writing (not just poetry) is a lifelong process for me and so it’s best for me to accept my own pace (which I guess is no. 2). Anyway, thanks for writing here again. I always come away form your blog feeling inspired and excited to write. Cheers!

    1. hi, james! a lifelong process for sure! & one of the delights is crossing paths with so many others like yourself!

  4. I feel like a “successful poet” when I’ve written a good poem.

    1. yes, works every time!

  5. A great read, Carolee! Many of these tips resonated with me…some I’ve recently started doing (celebrating the little things, which only we can define for ourselves); some I wish I were better at, i.e. “quit comparing yourself to other poets.” Trying to keep the big picture in mind also helps me offset discouragement, and the awareness that each even-small success is a success — and a motivator — is a reason to keep writing and remain hopeful and seek out inspiration in the stories of others.

    1. i need constant reminders on the comparison front! all the other things are much better uses of energy!

  6. So many great insights here to help emerging poets. Thanks for taking the time to write and share!

    1. Yes, this stuff matters very much… especially to those of us who’ve been emerging for years and years LOL

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