… make lemonade!! to be honest, there really haven’t been too many lemons as of late, but that hasn’t stopped me from making lemonade just the same! in fact, i’ve been so busy with so many good things that i walked away from this blog for a bit. but i’m coming back next week with a new post and some new plans!
recently, i received inquiries from the new york times (fun!) and the albany times union, for example. i turned down the nyt request and said “yes” to the tu. why’d i do that? (it’s not what it seems, of course.)
up and down. the pendulum swings and it swings back. i write about divorce. i don’t write about divorce. i think where i am now is that i just don’t lead with it… unless sage asks me to.
i am blessed to have really wise (and entertaining, oh my!) friends. one of the smartest things one of them has tried to help me understand is also one of the hardest to hear: “your suffering’s not so special.” he may have cited it as a buddhist thing (or maybe not), but here’s my tough love translation: “girlfriend, get over yourself….” OR to quote R.E.M. (we should all quote R.E.M. more often. who’s with me?): “everybody cries and everybody hurts sometime.”
i don’t want you to assume that kristin’s writing sugar-coated or romanticized the farm or the relationship. in fact, if i had to guess, the book’s scales weigh difficulty and sacrifice/death (for both the farm and the relationship) heavier than its victories. what it seems to come down to is what’s inside you begging to be expressed by love — whether it’s love of farming or love for another person. if there’s no other way you can find that bit of yourself, you commit to it. and probably a certain amount of fear about that is good.
let me begin by saying that if an acquaintance or co-worker or casual friend is going through divorce, by all means follow the advice offered by the author: keep your mouth shut about who’s to blame and don’t give any advice (emotional, legal or otherwise). however, if your sister or BFF or close friend or someone you really, really dig is going through divorce, that kind of luke-warm approach will probably be completely unhelpful (#1), make her feel further alienated (#2) and totally piss her off (#3).
tonight is opening night. i’ll be there with a picnic and a hot date (as long as i can drag him away from the pool).