recognizing the climb out of the gorge

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i am grateful every day. even still, thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. for the most part, it has avoided commercialization, and for the most part, it remains focused on family and friends and giving thanks.

i called my three boys this morning from the west coast. it is our first thanksgiving apart. my ex experienced it last year, and so now it is my turn. it is strange not being with them, of course. at the same time, i feel very happy about how i’m spending my day: with deb and mark and sport in portland. i am a lucky girl, blessed with amazing friends and family (my sisters are with the ‘rents at the lake in maine).

in anticipation of deb’s delicious cooking, i got up early and took the train to the oregon zoo for portland’s turkey trot. i am grateful my legs are strong and carried me up and down those hills. wow! and ouch! it doesn’t matter that i had to hike/climb some instead of trotting the whole way. it is a great source of pride that jogging is a part of my life.

something interesting happened at the halfway point as we made the turn to climb back up out of a deep gorge. i panicked. i realized i had no choice but to conquer the steep hill. one way or another, i had to get up and over it. i remembered something i told jill recently. though she teased that i must be high, i said, “what if getting ourselves to the divorce part, wasn’t the hard part (even though it was difficult)? what if the actual hard part is now? the rebuilding?”

it seems so clear to me now: divorce isn’t the top of the hill.

and this beautiful day and what comes next are only possible because of strength … ongoing. i am grateful to everyone who has helped me see my strength, especially in those moments when all i can see ahead is the road rising at a severe angle.

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